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A couple of very random thoughts
Jul. 5th, 2011 11:36 pm( Gaming Rambling (Obscure game and EA/Bioware Bashing), will save the reader from the eyesore. )
I learned this week that I am completely broke for the first time in over 10 years. This is the most horrid feeling ever. In truth, it's even worse, of course, I'm tens of thousands euro's in the red right now, but the bank is funding me, and in return I pay the bank over €50.000 extra, spread over roughly 30 years. Such is life I suppose. Those who study the right profession get to cheat, steal and kill, and do it all legally.
I am still waking up from stoner's screaming, even though he left 2 weeks ago now. Obviously, that's weird: I'm having nightmares about him, that's how deep he's under my skin, and I don't mean like Shampoo, soothing me from the inside, I mean like fucking barbed wire, still tearing me open. I'm having a lot of trouble sleeping and my sleeping rhythm itself is completely busted. Right now, I don't feel like sleeping, at 7AM I don't feel like waking (even though I'm awake at 6:30, and just want to snoooooze).
Work is... nice. Even though I have a much calmer routine nowadays, the work is still challenging me on a level where I can actually let myself go a little. I do miss the machines a bit, and when I reported this random thought to my chef, he said he'd see what he can do. Because that is how awesome my new chef is. This is a truly pro-active man with a near-horrifying positive attitude. Someone taking from life what he can, as opposed to yours truly, who instead of being inspired, whines about every little thing that is bothering him whilst getting out as little as possible.
This, and pretty much everything in this post... doesn't bother me much anymore. Sure, the financial thing pretty much stares into my soul all the time and my nightmares keep me awake in the middle of the night, but otherwise, my spirit seems to be lifting by itself. I also already know that after I move and I get my shit sorted out (or potentially even before that), I'm gonna take a subscription to the local gym. Since I moved here I've gained some weight and now that it's starting to show (EVER so slightly, but still!), I wanna work on it. FUCK, I actually WANT to work on it. Maybe I'll still someday be able to do that Armstrong cosplay... That'd be so epic! (I can dream...)
So yeah, that's my life pretty much summed up right now. I'll be in Zwolle next weekend... That's gonna be weird.
I learned this week that I am completely broke for the first time in over 10 years. This is the most horrid feeling ever. In truth, it's even worse, of course, I'm tens of thousands euro's in the red right now, but the bank is funding me, and in return I pay the bank over €50.000 extra, spread over roughly 30 years. Such is life I suppose. Those who study the right profession get to cheat, steal and kill, and do it all legally.
I am still waking up from stoner's screaming, even though he left 2 weeks ago now. Obviously, that's weird: I'm having nightmares about him, that's how deep he's under my skin, and I don't mean like Shampoo, soothing me from the inside, I mean like fucking barbed wire, still tearing me open. I'm having a lot of trouble sleeping and my sleeping rhythm itself is completely busted. Right now, I don't feel like sleeping, at 7AM I don't feel like waking (even though I'm awake at 6:30, and just want to snoooooze).
Work is... nice. Even though I have a much calmer routine nowadays, the work is still challenging me on a level where I can actually let myself go a little. I do miss the machines a bit, and when I reported this random thought to my chef, he said he'd see what he can do. Because that is how awesome my new chef is. This is a truly pro-active man with a near-horrifying positive attitude. Someone taking from life what he can, as opposed to yours truly, who instead of being inspired, whines about every little thing that is bothering him whilst getting out as little as possible.
This, and pretty much everything in this post... doesn't bother me much anymore. Sure, the financial thing pretty much stares into my soul all the time and my nightmares keep me awake in the middle of the night, but otherwise, my spirit seems to be lifting by itself. I also already know that after I move and I get my shit sorted out (or potentially even before that), I'm gonna take a subscription to the local gym. Since I moved here I've gained some weight and now that it's starting to show (EVER so slightly, but still!), I wanna work on it. FUCK, I actually WANT to work on it. Maybe I'll still someday be able to do that Armstrong cosplay... That'd be so epic! (I can dream...)
So yeah, that's my life pretty much summed up right now. I'll be in Zwolle next weekend... That's gonna be weird.
