Sep. 19th, 2013

lemau: Happy Shampoo ^_^ (Default)
For those who haven't been with me from the start, this journal, or rather its predecessor, LiveJournal, was a project for me to overcome my depression on my own. Bad shit happened, and I no longer want to look back on it. Needless to say I sometimes still look over my shoulder in the mirror and I catch a glimpse of my former self, the one I managed to lock away in a corner of my mind with no small amount of thanks to my readers and commenters. This is you, obviously.

Even though I've recently had a blast from the past, as I'll call this unfortunate incident, I don't feel the need to write it off anymore, also in no small part due to my girlfriend. Simply put, she gives me life, reason to breathe - if you will. I'm quitting my current job, and heading to a more localized, more organized and very likely better managed project. After all, it couldn't be much more disorganized than this (global) project. While the local project is getting management from both my team leader and our local (very capable) manager, the rest is generally a melting pot of whirling chaos and politics.

This brings me to the title of this post. I used to be able to write everything off me. I used to be able to jokingly say "one day I'm going to choke that motherfucker", knowing it would never happen. Back then people had a sense of what was meant and what I said just to vent. Hell, back then I used to know exactly who was reading this, and I generally still do (hello, Iz-chan~). I've always been careful to hide my identity from unwanted readers (hello, American 'Security' people~), and I've always done my best to hide names of people involved in my life (hello, mismanager~). All with the goodwill because I don't really want to smear anyone's name, I don't want to kill people (some I want to wound, but that's beside the point), I don't want to differentiate (except when it comes to intelligence).

I just want to vent instead of actually shooting someone. Sometimes, I really wish I could, just to improve humanity's gene pool, life style and general mood. Instead, by typing the last few sentences (which, as usual, I'll post as-is), I've probably triggered two or three national security instances and, if I'm lucky, one or two world-wide ones. The Internet is not the friendly place where I could be the person I want to be anymore. Instead, we're being trolled on large scale by Americans who feel everyone should have the same life as they have (and call it 'democracy', whether we want to or not), money-hungry Europeans (oh wait, it's called a 'stability' fund!), terrorist nations (notice how I didn't say Arab and/or Muslim. There are others!) and paranoid East-Europeans (Не волнуйтесь, я не буду ничего говорить , чтобы оскорбить вас, ребята *кхе кхе ЛГБТ*). Society is being non-subtly beaten, bought and bombed back into the middle ages.

Anyone who dares to protest nowadays meets the local and/or military police, our pension funds (or 401k's if you will) are being sucked dry to fund politicians we don't need and if I'm 'lucky' enough to survive the oncoming World War, I'll probably witness the fourth. And while I wanted to avoid the sexist shade of this post, I have to admit I'm pretty sure all these problems are caused by people who have penis-size issues. My biggest life problem, however, lies not with the oncoming bombings, but with the faction that will do this. It could be muslims who believe anyone who doesn't believe in Islam should perish as the infidel they are, it could be local bible-belt extremists because we've lost our way to the one and only god and thus should be sent to him/her, or it could be a country with their head so far up their ass that they think anyone who doesn't think the exact same thing they do is against freedom. And then there's the people that believe at least one of these groups AREN'T terrorists. But in the end, the only real definition of a terrorist is someone who imbues terror. And while the loss of lives by suicide bombers and gun-toting reli-freaks is definitely terrifying news, I'd say the biggest terrifying item of 2013 comes from the world's newest hero: Mister Edward Snowden.

You know, that guy that the US is now trying to apprehend because he's wanted for "Theft of government property, unauthorized communication of national defense information, and willful communication of classified intelligence to an unauthorized person (June 2013)." ([1]) Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure I never authorized governments to record everything I say. Like I said, this blog is pretty much a 'fire-and-forget' blog. I write because I want to get these thoughts out of my head so they don't fester and I go nuts.

Bottom line: The Internet (and the people in general) have lost a great deal of its sense of humor and have really kicked up the 1984 vibe. It scares the living shits out of me to know anyone could be selling my information to anyone. By that logic, anyone I talk to, anyone who reads this could be a potential terrorist and governments have a legitimate reason to spy on their people. Circular reasoning. Gotta love it.

Editorial note: This piece has been in development since the beginning of this month. I was unsure whether I should post it because it may contain some skewed facts and I am not sure about reception of the piece. In the end, I'm still deciding to post it because... Well, I want to.

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lemau: Happy Shampoo ^_^ (Default)
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